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Tuesday, May 16, 2017 Miami Beach, FL

Finding Bliss

I have those days where I just question it. Am I doing okay? Am I doing enough? What if one day, I wake up, and it all goes away? Then what? Blogging as a full-time career is a dream to me. It's given me so many incredible opportunities that I've been blessed to have come my way and I couldn't be more thankful for that. However, it's also unbelievably scary at times. Terrifying. I've had those moments where I just wonder, "What would I do if it were to disappear?" And then you see people climb at this incredible rate and you can't help but compare yourself to that. Is it even real? How did that happen? Why isn't it happening to me? And after one too many days spent worrying about the numbers, overanalyzing my situation, even putting myself down, I realized how much it began to affect my work and how I was feeling about myself. I had to stop comparing myself to others, no matter how difficult that could be.

It's hard to maintain that kind of confidence in an industry that is so competitive and constantly changing. I'll have both my good days, and my bad ones. Sometimes I feel on top of the world, and other days, I'll feel like I've hit rock bottom. Like I just can't keep up and need to take a break from something that can easily feel so saturated. After years of blogging, in no way do I have this dialed in. I'm very much so still learning as I go and it's a never-ending process. The blogging world becomes very cut throat and there are definitely situations where it seems like faking it until you make it is the way to go. But that's not why I started my blog. And it's not how I ever want it to be.
I began writing and expressing my thoughts as a creative outlet, to share with those who cared enough to read and follow along. Over the years, it has helped me find myself, learn more about who I was, what mattered to me, and it also became very clear what I wanted out of life. I wrote for myself and in time, writing for myself turned into writing for others. To hear people tell me that I've inspired them, helped them, motivated them, it's been one of the most rewarding feelings this career path has ever given me. That's what helps me stay focused, it's a reminder of why I started in the first place.

This may apply to other career paths and not just blogging or social media. Whatever it is you do, I know what it feels like to lose that inspiration. To feel like you're lacking motivation because of what's happening around you. Comparing yourself to others is the first mistake. I'm sure majority of people have had an opportunity to take an easy route to the top. It's tempting, I know. But the second I give up that foundation of authenticity, an organic growth, and honesty, not only have I lost the trust of the people that support me, but I will have lost trust in myself.

I am learning to pay no mind to the numbers, at least, to an extent. Obsessing over anything is never a good look and rarely does obsession change a situation. It only causes me to lose my mind. I try not to compare myself to anyone else and just focus on what I'm doing and how can I do better. Not better than whoever it is you feel like you need to out-do. Be better than what you were yesterday, a week ago, a year ago. It's important to remember that progress is progress, no matter how little or small.

Traveling has definitely helped me find new inspirations, new ideas to share, more content to create. For a while, I've felt like I was stuck in this same routine and I've been trying to shake myself out of it. I have to stop being so hard on myself, being my own worst critic, not feeling like I'm doing enough. I have to believe that I'm doing my best and to continue to push to go beyond my own expectations. No more pity parties or feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone is allowed to have a bad day, but don't let one bad day convince you that what you're doing isn't right for you.
I've found bliss by learning to ignore the numbers, stop comparing myself to others, throw back in more personal thoughts and create something with a little more heart beneath it. I want to share my ideas, see more of the world, share more of how I see life. I want to continue to help people feel inspired, give a little extra motivation, use my platform for good, be a voice that has something to say and is worth listening to. Do I have a clear idea of where I want to be in a few years? Absolutely not. Is this what I'll be doing 10 years from now? Who knows. Is this what I'm supposed to do? I want to do it so it's just going to have to be. I'm going with the flow day by day, each day giving it my best and that is more than enough.

Dress by Lulus
Captured by: Allysha Y.

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